Operation My School Is Nuts, I'm Making A Break For It

So it's an ongoing issue, one I've mentioned and complained about, that I'm always the very last one to know anything at school. Usually, it's not a big deal, like when I got to class and no one shows and I only find out later that they had to pick up their formal uniforms (a five minute process that somehow took them an hour). Then there are the time when I've been given contradicting information and adjust my schedule and lessons accordingly. It took a few times for me to catch on, but now I know not to work around anything I've been told because it's probably wrong. I just go on as I normally would, but with the knowledge that something could change at any moment. I feel like I'm training for battle sometimes. Always be alert, be aware, be ready for anything.

Like this morning. I walked into the office and immediately heard the sentence that always means I'm in for a confusing day. "You know about the meeting, right?" Any time I'm told about schedule changes, that's how it's phrased: "You know about such and such, right?" And of course the answer is no. No, I don't know about the meeting. I never know about the meeting. So they helpfully filled me in. The meeting is at 2:30, classes are ten minutes shorter to make the time, and by the way, the students are practicing for Sports Day so don't be surprised if a lot of them don't show up.

So a typical morning, the only difference being that I was forced to stage a minor revolt when I found out I'm supposed to go to the meeting. Some of the teachers couldn't quite understand why, even though I think it's fairly obvious. The meeting will be in Thai. I don't speak Thai. The end. Luckily, I had the Chinese teachers backing me up since they also don't speak Thai. Together we were victorious.

And then I received some new information. Remember the neverending confusion of the midterms schedule that ened with me fleeing to Phuket to rediscover my sanity? Turns out, it's not over. Because apparently, they are scheduled for Monday and Tuesday next week, which means classes are canceled. When I heard this, my eyes started to tear up because I was trying to keep from bursting out laughing. I don't think anyone would have gotten the joke. But here's the punchline and it turns out it's not so funny: I still have to come to school. Now, classes are cancelled on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday this week for Sports Day. Now, I'm being a good and supportive teacher and coming every day to cheer on my students in the morning and then hiding in the office all afternoon and reading. But two more days of nothing to do? I'll lose my mind.

So my plan is to think of a plan. Maybe my coordinator can work it out, maybe I'll use a couple sick days. Because I won't be able to handle five straight school days with no classes and nothing else to take up the time. I truly would rather teach. I know, it surprised me, too.

On My Way To Becoming Completely Inflappable

So there’s not a whole lot to report back from Phuket, because not much happened – and that’s why it was so perfect. We stayed with friends of Jenny’s sister, and they completely welcomed us. It was so relaxing to be in a home again and everyone in the family was great. Lia and Ot make their own jewelry and have a shop in Kata, just off the beach. They have the most adorable children (the youngest is three and I almost stole him) and I spent a lot of my time playing with them. So the highlights were the beach (of course), not sleeping in a hostel, and spending time with kids who I didn’t have to teach English. Taking the time off was one of my better decisions.

Now that I’m back at school, with no more vacations to look forward to, I’m especially glad I took those days off. Because beyond having a fantastic time and really enjoying the awesomeness that is Phuket, I really needed a rest. Not from teaching - although it was nice to get a break from my (mostly) well-meaning but exhausting students – but from constantly wondering “What the hell is going on?” and then getting frustrated when no one can explain or, worse, tries to explain and gives me wrong information. Because I’m quickly learning that a lot of the time the Thai teachers don’t know what’s going on either. The difference is that they don’t expect to.

So my next goal for cultural assimilation isn’t to learn how things work (that’s pretty much my default setting, not a goal with an achievable end) but to accept that my school is never going to run things in a way that makes sense to me - a Western way. And taking that vacation was a big step, because I still have all the same frustrations and questions this week that I did last week, but now I’ve had some time away from it.

Sure, I still got frustrated this week when on my way to an M6 class that I haven’t seen in a month (thanks to the luck of Thai scheduling) the students told me that the last two periods of the day had been cancelled so the school could practice for Sports Day (three days of cheering, drumming, and dancing for no identifiable reason). No, I don’t really understand why the school decided it was absolutely vital to run a check on the electricity for two hours in the middle of the day today rather than after school, leaving me in a fanless, air-conditionless room with the door shut because I’m giving listening tests and the students have to be able to hear me. I’m still frustrated and confused, but I’m no longer surprised and that actually helps a lot more than I would have thought.

So now as I write this, dripping with sweat after teaching in my airless hotbox of a classroom, rubbing bloodshot eyes and coughing and wheezing like an asthmatic because they’re burning the rice fields outside the school (for boring farming reasons that I’m not interested in) and smoke is blowing into the office, I know that probably any moment one of the students (or maybe even a teacher) will stare at me, shake their head, and say “Teacher, you do not look good”, even though it is totally their country’s fault. And because I’ll see it coming, I probably won’t even be upset, which will put me one baby step closer to understanding the Thai way of life. No one knows how to roll with it better than the Thais.

Down South, Take Two

Things are starting to get back to normal at school. After an even quieter Friday (Why didn't they close school, why?) most of the students were back on Monday and the noise level has risen back to the usual level, with the wonderful addition of hundreds of kids coughing constantly. They've also turned off the a/c, I think to keep from using recycled air? I doubt it's keeping anyone healthier and now everyone is hot, sweaty, and sick instead of just sick. So really, there's only one thing I can do. That's right, less than a week after returning from the south of Thailand, I'm headed back down late tonight. This time to Phuket.

It's for my own health. I'm being responsible.

Okay, so this has been planned for a few weeks. It might seem like I'm abandoning my classes and... I am. But originally, that wasn't how it was meant to work out. This will be a confusing story, but imagine being there while it unfolded. I live in a constant state of confusion here.

Weeks ago, Jenny, Brittany, and Katie P. were told that there school was having midterms during this entire week. They weren't required to give midterms, so they could have the whole week off. I had a feeling it wouldn't be the same for me, but it was worth checking out. By that point I'd figured out that I could have the week off and I wouldn't know until Monday morning. So it was time to be proactive. I asked my coordinator when we'd be having midterms and it turned out to be the same week, all week, but I'd be required to give midterms. Then, completely unprompted by me, my coordinator said that I could give my midterms whenever I wanted. If I gave them the week before or after, then I wouldn't need to come to school because there wouldn't be classes. I was excited, but skeptical. It seemed a little too good to be true. So I decided to wait a few days until I could confirm (as much as I can confirm anything here) that midterms would, in fact, be that week.

And, of course, things changed. Again, and again. First, midterms would only last a few days instead of the whole week. Then, we were giving midterms in class instead of setting aside time for them. Because I only teach each class once a week, midterms would (again) take the whole week. Finally, I found out that midterms weren't mandatory. If I wanted to I could give them in class, but only if I felt like it.

Meanwhile, the others were told that classes weren't canceled for that week and everything was scheduled as normal. But they had already made plans that couldn't be changed, only shortened to a few days rather than the whole week. And throughout all this, I kept telling my coordinator "I need to know for sure, I have to book my ticket soon." But I couldn't find out for sure, but she kept saying it wasn't a problem either way. So,I went ahead and booked my ticket, before I found out there wouldn't be midterms at all. And, honestly, by that point I didn't care even a little bit.

So now I'm headed to Phuket with Jenny, who actually knows someone there who's letting us stay. No cheap hostel rooms for this trip and I might even get some homecooked meals. Free food and a place to stay in Phuket, of all places? My life is pretty rough.

My Next Job Is Professional Beach Bum

Krabi, I miss you already. You were so beautiful (as in, probably the most beautiful beaches anywhere in the world) and, for the most part, did a thorough job of refreshing me from the particular weariness that comes from teaching children who mostly do not want to be taught. Physically, you could have been a bit kinder to us.

We left Friday and after traveling on a van, bus (for a 10 hour overnight, it wasn’t that bad), truck, and long-tail boat, we made it to Railay. Railay isn’t an island, but it’s still only accessible by boat and it’s teeny tiny. And also absolutely gorgeous. After the long trip to get there, we were all in a rush to get a room, change, and run for the beach. And I almost made it, too.

We had changed and were on our way to grab lunch before hitting the beach, when I started feeling a little weird. But I’d woken up with a cold on Friday (which I probably caught from Jenny, who’d been sick all week) and figured it was acting up again. But by the time we got a table, I couldn’t stand up, or really move at all and I started reconsidering the cold theory.

And then I realized I hadn’t had anything to drink in 16 hours. And looking back on it, I can’t figure out why. Maybe it was my cold, or I was trying to keep from using the bathroom on the bus, who knows. But for the first time since coming to Thailand, I wasn’t thirsty and I also wasn’t paying attention. Sitting in an air conditioned bus, you don’t really notice but once you’re on the water, in the heat, you notice really fast.

Unfortunately, by that point I was so dehydrated I felt too full to drink anything. So Jenny helped me back to the room, where I spent the next six hours sleeping and drinking water. By dinner time, I was mostly recovered, if sad to have missed my first beach day.

I was only the first to be stuck down that weekend. Or second, if you count Jenny’s continuing cold. Katie Poor and Brittany fell victim to a stomach bug and we decided that there wouldn’t be a time during the trip that all of us would be healthy at the same time. And, so sadly, we did not get to go rock climbing, which was the thing we really wanted to do, since Railay is famous for climbing.

But despite our bodies attempts to keep us down this week, we still had an amazing time. We braved a more treacherous than it seemed climb to a lagoon (the last leg turned out to be too treacherous and we didn’t actually make it all the way, but the climb made us feel accomplished and muddy), logged some quality beach time, went kayaking, met really cool people, and spent a perfect day snorkeling.

We returned yesterday bruised and battered from snorkeling and climbing (my leg is still stained with mud) and slightly weak from our various illnesses. But we are also sporting excellent tans, we have beautiful pictures, and I managed not to spend my entire month’s salary, even with island prices. I woke up this morning almost ready to go back to teaching.

It seemed like school wasn’t quite ready either, because it was unusually quiet when I got there this morning. With 3000 students, school is never quiet and in the morning, when I’m not yet completely awake and they all want to say hello to me individually, it seems especially loud. But this morning there were only a few hundred students milling around and they all seemed subdued. Suspicious.

When I got to my office, I asked one of the teachers where everyone was. “Home,” she said. I waited. And waited. “Why are they home?” I finally asked. And it turns out the answer was swine flu. As in, a couple students have it. And everyone else seems to have the regular flu or is too afraid to come to school, because more than half the students were missing. Maybe two-thirds. I asked if school would be canceled (some other schools have been for the same reason) and was told there was a meeting in the afternoon to discuss it. So I went through my day, teaching classes that were missing half the students and trying to convince people that no, I really didn’t need a mask. This afternoon, I had a conversation with the same teacher from before and it left me with a feeling I’ve become very familiar with. The feeling that yes, that conversation did happen and no, it doesn’t make sense, and yet I’m the only one that thinks so.

Me: So what happened in the meeting?
Teacher: Oh, there was no meeting. The hospital said not to gather in groups, so the director canceled the meeting.
Me: Oh. So I guess there’s no school tomorrow.
Teacher: Yes, we still have school.
Me: But you said we’re not supposed to gather in groups.
Teacher: Yes, that’s why they canceled the meeting.
Me: But we still have school.
Teacher: Yes.
Me: …Okay, moving on. My M6’s didn’t show up for class today. Are they all sick?
Teacher: Oh, no. M6 does not have class today.
Me: Of course they don’t. Will they have class tomorrow?
Teacher: Maybe. If you go to class and they do not come, then they don’t have class.
Me: I’m going to stop asking questions now.

So now I have no idea if I’ll have school tomorrow. The teachers say yes, but they are often wrong. I suppose I’ll find out if my van doesn’t show up tomorrow.

To Whomever Finds This Note

Work is too hard. Have run away to Krabi (described by some as the "paradise province" of Thailand). May never return.

But if I do, it'll be on Wednesday.