Wait, I'm going home?

Right now, I'm sitting in the Bangkok airport being mad at the internet. I'm here early, so early that I gave in and shelled out some baht for an hour of wireless, which I now find only connects to some sites. This must be a sign that I should a)post my final blog or b) continue that mostly internet-free existence I've been living while traveling.

Clearly, it's not option b.

I didn't plan on being at the airport quite so early. I left Ko Chang this morning (9:30) and got into Bangkok at 6, which is a full day of traveling already. The airport was not on my top list of places to be. My flight is at 5:30 am (because why should it be convenient?) and that left a decent amount of time to eat, shower, get some last minute present, and then go get my bags from storage. The eating was definitely a success (I'll miss you cheap, cheap food) and the shower less so (I knew that packet was conditioner and not shampoo. Damn you Thai Man at 7-11 Counter!). I had some kind of blackout on Khao San Road and when I came to I had two more bags of stuff. How? Why?

I sat down and had a fruit shake to recover from my medical episode. After, I felt rested, but I realized I couldn't stand to be in Bangkok for one more minute. The smells were particularly awful, I was tired from the bus trip, and it was just time to go. Bangkok is fun for a little while, if I have things to do, but I can only kill so much time here (especially on Khao San) before I feel like I'm about to twitch out of my skin. It might be a side effect of all the pollution. Actually, maybe that explains my shopping blackout...

So now, after a touch-and-go repacking of my bags after I got them from storage (I'm carrying an odd variety of things onto the plane with me, but somehow I managed to fit it all in) I'm still in Bangkok, but it's the airport and that doesn't really count. The downside of course it that it's four hours before my flight leaves and I can't check my bags in yet so I can't even go to the bathroom. And I will not leave them with a kind-looking stranger. I refuse to get anything stolen this late in game, especially after that near-disaster of packing.

From what I can tell, it's a bit of a tradition to write about the things I'll miss about Thailand (or won't miss) and what I'm looking forward to at home. But my (useless) internet minutes are winding down and I figure I can just tell you in person, so I quickly hit the highlights.

Miss:

Thai food - I know, I can get that at home, but I have my doubts about quality. And paying ten bucks for a meal that I used to buy for 80 cents is bound to result in some kind of stress-induced heart attack.

Bargaining - It's like eating a big meal after you've exercised. You really feel like you earned it.

Miss: The king. He is all that is caring and wonderful. What will I do when I can't walk into any random room and see is benevolent face?

Not Miss:

The Staring - After a while it wasn't that bad, but I never completely got used to it.

Bargaining - Sometimes it really is too much work. But principle demands that you don't let them get away with blatant overcharging.

Farang Prices - A lot of places (like zoos, museums, national parks) charge foreigners more, sometimes a lot more. In theory, my work permit was supposed to save me from most of that injustice. In reality, I forgot to bring it. Every. Single. Time.

Looking Forward To:

Cheese
Beef
Seasons
Not having to dress based on what clothing shows sweat the least

Not Looking Forward To:

American accents - I'm sorry, but it's true. There are very very few Americans in Thailand. 98% of all the American accents I was exposed to were my friends who I saw every day. Katie P. and I realized this a couple days ago, listening to the loud, carrying, overpowering voice of a fellow American: we should apologize to all non-Americans because it turns out they're not lying about it being annoying.

The Dollar - I think I just won't buy anything ever again.

Not going on vacation every weekend - You mean most people don't do this? What kind of life is that?

I had more, but time is out. See you in America!


P.S: Apparently, the internet decided as I was writing that it didn't like this site either. So this was posted in The Land of Internet Freedom (aka America).

P.P.S: After months of Thai beds, which have the give of wood floors, my bed feels like it's made of clouds and cotton balls.

Ko "It Waited Until My Last Four Days In Thailand To Rain"

I never thought that at any point while in Thailand I would wish for sun, but we arrived at Ko Chang yesterday for our last days and haven't seen the sun since. I was hoping to step off the plane in (I can't believe it) four days and be jet lagged, dirty, delirious, and gloriously sun-bronzed. My super-tan of July faded long ago and I wanted the chance to gain a little of it back, just enough to last me through October. But I'm worn out from traveling and tanning regrets aside, can't be too disappointed about the rain. As long as I have a book thick enough to last me (and I think the one I have will last all the way to the States) I have no real complaints. If given the choice, though, I would have switched the weather in Chiang Mai and Ko Chang.

Chiang Mai was hot. You would think I'd be used to it but apparently four days in the mountains in Pai were all it took for me to adjust back to normal temperatures (normal being 80 degrees). Unwilling to expose our tired, travel-worn selves to more discomfort, we kept our activities low-key during the first day (reading in the park, napping, Starbucks) and then re-energized for our Thai cooking class. It turns out I have found my cooking niche. I don't have the patience, inclination, or attention span for the usual stuff, but apparently I have a knack for Thai food. I realized that while I could get various people to cook my favorite foods for me at home there was no one who could make Thai food for me. So I stuck out my chin, donned my apron and headscarf, and got to it. I learned all of my favorites (my green curry in particular was excellent), impressed our teacher by making everything Thai-level spicy, and finally found out which is the mortar and which is the pestle (one of my top five questions about Thailand).

One morning was devoted to The Flight of the Gibbon, which is the attraction in Chiang Mai (as seen on Amazing Race). A gibbon is a monkey that swings from tree to tree and almost never touches the ground and The Flight is a series of zip-lines through the rainforest where they live. Our guides enjoyed sending us off the platforms before we were ready and, at one time, "missing" someone in my group at the other end so he slid back to the middle. Oh, North and Chit, they were a couple of jokesters. In our group was an Israeli family and they were so awesome that, in two hours, they made me want to convert to Judaism and move to Israel. I still haven't completely dismissed it.

There were more animal related events, including the Night Safari where I held a baby white tiger (it was ferocious), realized that the bird house is frightening in the dark, and got cut off by a roaming giraffe while riding the tram. Our last day was spent at the zoo, where we had to stop every twenty minutes to rest because it was hot and we are getting on in years. But I got to feed a giraffe (a different one) and see what an ostrich looks when it's molted (answer: ewww).

I also went to some markets and spent an upsetting amount of money (baht or no baht, I am on a teacher's salary). Mostly it was upsetting for my back, which now has to carry everything I bought. It also might be upsetting for my suitcase when I get my things out of storage and pack for the plane, but I remain hopeful.

But that is three days away, so I won't worry about it. For now, it's still raining but I'm getting restless and so I think I will go swimming anyway. Thanks to a tropical climate, the water is always warm. Well done, Thailand.

Done With Kip, Back To Baht.

I'm not sure how it happened, but it's already been a week since I left Suphan. It was a sad good-bye, but I have Jenny and Katie P. as my traveling companions and we're meeting up with a couple others for the final beaching part of the trip, so I got to put off most of my final farewells for a couple weeks. I've been trying to convince everyone to come home with me and live in the basement (Mom and Dad, we'll talk later), but they keep saying things like "crime" and "drugs" and "don't a lot of people get shot there?". I'm kind of disappointed in them, I thought they were hardier than that.

So I suppose I'll just have to cling to what little time we have left. We've definitely been making the most of it. Our first destination was Laos and, sadly, we had to race through it. We spent a couple days in Vang Vieng and our main activity was Tubing. This wasn't regular tubing and so deserves capitalization. There are a bunch of bars lined up along the (big, fast moving, rock-laden) river. You rent a tube and float from bar to bar where they throw you line, reel you in and ply you with free whiskey. There are zip lines and high swings (I was the only one to do the high swing because I am the coolest and most fearless of us all) and an underlying sense of danger. We managed to make it through relatively unwounded.

If you think the Tubing was exciting, wait until you hear about how we spent our nights. Restaurants and bars in Laos are all centered around one thing - television. And the only shows on are Friends, Family Guy, and occasionally soccer. So it turns out I found my heaven, and it happens to be in a tiny developing country in Southeast Asia. Who knew? Because we spent a lot of our time in Laos traveling, watching t.v. and drinking fruit shakes was as much activity as we could handle. At first we disagreed on where to go ("I want to watch Friends", "But I feel like Family Guy", "Look, soccer!) but we quickly came up with an excellent solution. So we spent the nights bar-hopping from show to show, ordering shakes and baguettes and cheese at each one (Laos was lucky enough to be colonized by the French and, though it's independent now, we can still enjoy the culinary heritage).

After Vang Vieng, we spent a day in Luang Prabang, which was quaint and had equally delicious food, and then it was time to head back to Thailand. I would have liked to spend at least a few more days in Laos, but I was also a little relieved to be back. I was very much a tourist in Laos and, while I had a great time, it was a little unsettling. In Thailand I don't have to worry about converting money (I never got a handle on the Laos Kip), basic communication, or getting scammed. Not to mention, Thailand is still the cheapest country ever.

So now I'm in Pai, a tiny little town in the northwest. Everything about Pai is relaxed and slightly New-Agey. I didn't think it was possible for people in Thailand to be friendlier, but the people in Pai have managed it. We spent a day white water rafting and cliff jumping. The cliffs weren't too high, only about 8 meters (which, thanks to my American education I know is somewhere between 10 and 50 feet) but high enough that even I, with all of my daring and fearlessness, hesitated. It was my first time rafting, but I think I carried my weight. I suppose I'm just a natural at everything I do.

We have one more day here and then we leave tomorrow for a few days in Chiang Mai. We don't have any particular plans, so I expect we'll just do whatever catches our attention. Probably something shiny and sparkly. For now I'm going to read my book, drink coffee, and count how many people with dreads walk by.

So long, Suphan!

Things have been quiet on this blog lately and there’s a good reason for it. You might be thinking I’ve had a lot of work to finish up at school, with finals and grading and getting things ready for the new teachers (even though I’m feeling possessive and territorial and want to scratch my name into my desk so they know I was here first). And I’ve had all those things to do, but I’ve also had a lot (so very much) free time at school that finding time to do it all wasn’t much of a problem. I’ve been busy with something else.

I’m planning a kidnapping.

Just go with me on this. It might seem dramatic and ridiculous and, yes, technically illegal, but that’s only because I haven’t explained the situation. You see, I’ve been considering something like this for a while. Thailand has a lot of babies and they are all adorable. They wear little bracelets and anklets with bells on them and baby powder on their faces and arms and they are either amazingly tiny or super chubby. So, I’d always assumed that when the time came, I’d be taking a baby back home with me. But recently, my plans have changed.

I have a handful of favorite students that I love, but none of them had really risen above the others to claim the cherished spot of “The Favorite”. Then, a few weeks ago, one of my M1’s started to show some promise, but she did it so quietly that I didn’t even realize it at first. She started by waiting outside the office to carry my things to class. This is something a few of my students have been doing for a while, but she took it a step further when she started carrying my stuff to other classes. Whenever her schedule seemed to allow it or she saw me walking to a class, she’d split off from her friends, cheerfully take everything out of my hands, and escort me to wherever I was going. We’d talk as much as her very limited English would allow and then she’d leave me with a wave and a nervous giggle. She was one of the students who gave me a learner’s English book for a before-birthday present. The presents didn’t stop there. This whole week, my last week at school, she stopped by periodically to gift me with key chains (Hello Kitty and Winnie the Pooh), sandwiches, and bottles of water. Clearly this was her way of overcoming the language barrier to show me that she can’t bear to parted from me.

So you see, she wants to come with me, even if she doesn't know it yet.

I’m giving her a few weeks to say goodbye to her friends and family while I wander about Southeast Asia. This is my last night in Suphanburi and tomorrow we leave for Laos. Then it’s back to Thailand (I didn’t say I was wandering far). I don’t know what the internet situation will be, so we’ll see if I can manage any updates on my fascinating travels. But know this: when I return I will be bringing a twelve year-old Thai child with me. And possibly a baby to act as her companion.

It was almost like camping... except it wasn't at all

The number of weekends we have to romp around Thailand is quickly decreasing (only two more before post-semester traveling) and we've been trying to fit in as much as possible. Two weeks ago our plan to go back to Kanchanaburi was foiled; first, by lame Thai bus schedules and then by our lack of desire to get up at six on a Saturday morning. We tried again last weekend and managed to make it to the bus station just in time to hear "Hurry, farang! Kanchanaburi, five minutes!" Of course, once we ran to the bus and sat down, we realized that five minutes really meant closer to thirty. But we are neither surprised nor bothered (mostly) by these things anymore and were just happy to have made the bus at all.

Our only goal was to spend some time at Erawan Falls, which is the waterfall to see in Thailand. Since at times it feels like there's a waterfall on every corner in this country (though maybe not in Suphan, which leans more to the dirt, construction, and overgrown fields of death side of the scenery spectrum), it's no small thing to say that Erawan is one of the best. It has seven-tiers, most with pools to swim in, things to climb, and giant rocks to slide down. We spent most of the day playing in our natural playground and taking more pictures of water and rocks and water on rocks than anyone really needs. I felt like this was good practice for the next weekend, when the plan was to go to Khao Yai National Park and stay in a resort but save money by sleeping in tents. But the weekend turned out not to be quite as rustic as we'd planned.

When we called the resort to make reservations, they told us sadly that there were many conferences that weekend and there would be no room. We said we were calling about tents, not rooms, and were there any available? "Oh. Tents. Yes, we have many many tents. But are you sure...?" We were sure.

We quickly found out why there were so many tents free. Khao Yai isn't far from Suphan, not even three hours, but it seems that it's far enough away for the weather to change. And by that, I mean there actually is some. The rainy season isn't just a rumor to fool silly farang. The minute we stepped out of the taxi, we were immediately informed by the overly concerned manager (who we very quickly dubbed Mom) that it had rained every night for a week and the tents weren't waterproof. Well, you know me and my deep love for grass and bugs, so I was pretty bummed that we'd be missing out. But my mood brightened when Thai Mom told us that there were rooms available and they turned out to be excellent, by far the best I've stayed in here. Not to mention, they were only 500 baht a person. My love for low season prices is true and pure.

I am happy to report that the best word to describe the weekend is "classy". Compared to everywhere else I've stayed (including, at times, Suphan), the resort was luxurious. There was air conditioning and good food and a pool and a nice bathroom and never once did I say "That's an unfortunate smell..."

And the luxury didn't stop there. Much to our surprise, we discovered that Thailand makes wine. And guess what? Their biggest and best is in Khao Yai. So the only thing to do was go on a tour of the winery and have a wine tasting.

I told you, classy.

So that was my weekend. Wine, excellent food, and luxury.

In current news, here are some things that happened to me today:

1. Filled out three "profiles" about myself on intricately decorated paper, including my birthday, address, phone number, and "how/why I am so beautiful". This isn't unusual, but it's happening more often. I think the students are starting to catch on that I'm leaving.

2. Signed four autographs. I'd say I just signed my name, but there's no point denying it. They're autographs.

3. Received two beautifully wrapped "before-birthday" presents. Thanks to profiles I've filled out previously, a lot of the students know my birthday. I'm not sure if they know that I'm leaving and wanted to give me something before I go, or if they just wanted an excuse to give me something. For those who are interested, the presents were two books, both in English – simplified learning English versions of "The Woman in White" and "The Call of the Wild". Like most things that happen to me in Thailand, I was confused but delighted. The students (and their friends) also sang "Happy Birthday".

4. Found out that on the last two days of classes next week, seven out of eight of mine are canceled. This brings me from five classes to one on Thursday and none on Friday. They tried to tell me that I still had to come to school on Friday, but I refused. I'm already spending the entire week after that doing nothing in the office. I can't add another day on top of it. Also, I managed to completely shock the head of my department when I heard her talking in Thai about the 17th and 18th and then (since the canceled classes rumor had been floating around) asked whether there would be school on those days.

Kanchana (to another teacher): Thai, Thai, sip jet (17), sip baad (18). Thai, sip jet, sip baad. Thai, Thai, Thai.
Me (knows what their talking about and waits to see if anyone thinks that I too should be informed. No one does.): Are you talking about classes on the 17th and 18th? Are they canceled?
Kanchana (stares, obviously shocked that I understood any of what she said): How...?
Me: I can also pat my head and rub my stomach at the same time.
Kanchana: What?
Me: Nevermind.

I think a year from now, I won't believe things like this actually happened to me regularly.

You can feed the farang, but if you point she gets agitated

About two minutes ago, I heard an unusual amount of noise in the hallway and looked up to see a large group of people videotaping things and being led on what appears to be a tour. Naturally, I was curious.

Me: What's going on?
Pi-Dee: They are teachers visiting from another school. Look, they're waving at you!
Me (turns around and sure enough): Oh. Hello.
Pi-Dee: Wave back!
Me (sighs and waves): Hi. Hello. Yes, hello to you in the back. You can really come closer. (Teachers gesture enthusiastically to their skin and then mine.) Yes, I am white. You don't need to point... and there's the video camera.

So now I'm writing this and pretending to be busy, since before all I was doing was eating Wheat-Thins (courtesy of Mom). They're starting to disperse now that I'm not paying any attention to them, but I bet the tour guide is saying something like this: "So, you noticed that in addition to the new computers in the science rooms, the school has also acquired a farang. She doesn't always understand what's going on, but if you want to practice shaking hands, she's the one to go to."

Sometimes things like this bug me and sometimes they make me laugh. Since I had a chance to recharge over the weekend, it's mostly the latter. Even though we did fail miserably at going to Kanchanaburi. After school on Friday, we headed to the bus station only to be told that we had missed the last direct bus. We were sad, but not too surprised since the bus schedule is kind of hit or miss. They tried to put us on a bus to Nakhon Pathom, where we could catch a different bus to Kanchanaburi, but since that would put us two hours in the complete opposite direction we decided to leave early the next morning.

Except we didn't. We mostly meant to, but our beds were so comfy and the buses are not. So it was another quiet pool weekend, which really was just fine. We'll try again this weekend.

And now to my last class of the day. I love being done by one on Mondays. It makes starting the week a little bit easier.

Cloudy skies do not weather make

I miss weather. Specifically, I miss weather that isn’t hot, but at this point I’ll take anything. And storms that happen at two in the morning when I’m asleep don’t count. The last couple of weeks have been some of the hottest so far and – to the degree – this next week isn’t supposed to change. I thought living here during the rainy season would mean cooler weather and, you know, rain. I’ve decided the plants get all their water from the humid (oh so humid) air, because it’s not coming from anywhere else.

We can’t blast the a/c since we pay our own electricity and we get paid in baht, so we escape the heat by going to the pool or, to repeat a favorite, head to the beach for the weekend. There are so many beaches around, we have yet to go to the same one twice and this past weekend it was Ko Si Chang. There isn’t much going on there, which ended up being exactly what we needed. Falling asleep at 10:30 on a Saturday is it’s own kind of fun. We’re all a little burnt out from teaching and we really needed to do nothing. The beach itself wasn’t great, probably the worst I’ve been to so far. But remember that a mediocre Thailand beach is still pretty great and it was the best beach weather we’ve had so far. In the end, I only need sand, ocean, and decently clear skies to have a good beach day. Well, that and a bathing suit, which I somehow forgot to bring. A bra is almost like bathing suit anyway. And since I was also wearing shorts, the Thais (who swim in their clothes) would say I was the most appropriately dressed out of us all.

We're planning out the rest of our weekends (we don't have many left) and starting on our post-semester traveling plans. There are so many places I want to go and I just don't have enough time. Sometimes I want to stay for another semester, but I actually (for the first time ever) have a plan for the next few years and I want to get started on it. I'll just have to fit as much as I can in the next two months. This weekend it's back to Kanchanaburi, home of the Scary Bugs, to see the things we missed out on last time. I've decided I'd like to see more of fewer places than skim through as many places as I can cram in. Hopefully this time I'll see more scenery and less local wildlife.

Operation My School Is Nuts, I'm Making A Break For It

So it's an ongoing issue, one I've mentioned and complained about, that I'm always the very last one to know anything at school. Usually, it's not a big deal, like when I got to class and no one shows and I only find out later that they had to pick up their formal uniforms (a five minute process that somehow took them an hour). Then there are the time when I've been given contradicting information and adjust my schedule and lessons accordingly. It took a few times for me to catch on, but now I know not to work around anything I've been told because it's probably wrong. I just go on as I normally would, but with the knowledge that something could change at any moment. I feel like I'm training for battle sometimes. Always be alert, be aware, be ready for anything.

Like this morning. I walked into the office and immediately heard the sentence that always means I'm in for a confusing day. "You know about the meeting, right?" Any time I'm told about schedule changes, that's how it's phrased: "You know about such and such, right?" And of course the answer is no. No, I don't know about the meeting. I never know about the meeting. So they helpfully filled me in. The meeting is at 2:30, classes are ten minutes shorter to make the time, and by the way, the students are practicing for Sports Day so don't be surprised if a lot of them don't show up.

So a typical morning, the only difference being that I was forced to stage a minor revolt when I found out I'm supposed to go to the meeting. Some of the teachers couldn't quite understand why, even though I think it's fairly obvious. The meeting will be in Thai. I don't speak Thai. The end. Luckily, I had the Chinese teachers backing me up since they also don't speak Thai. Together we were victorious.

And then I received some new information. Remember the neverending confusion of the midterms schedule that ened with me fleeing to Phuket to rediscover my sanity? Turns out, it's not over. Because apparently, they are scheduled for Monday and Tuesday next week, which means classes are canceled. When I heard this, my eyes started to tear up because I was trying to keep from bursting out laughing. I don't think anyone would have gotten the joke. But here's the punchline and it turns out it's not so funny: I still have to come to school. Now, classes are cancelled on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday this week for Sports Day. Now, I'm being a good and supportive teacher and coming every day to cheer on my students in the morning and then hiding in the office all afternoon and reading. But two more days of nothing to do? I'll lose my mind.

So my plan is to think of a plan. Maybe my coordinator can work it out, maybe I'll use a couple sick days. Because I won't be able to handle five straight school days with no classes and nothing else to take up the time. I truly would rather teach. I know, it surprised me, too.

On My Way To Becoming Completely Inflappable

So there’s not a whole lot to report back from Phuket, because not much happened – and that’s why it was so perfect. We stayed with friends of Jenny’s sister, and they completely welcomed us. It was so relaxing to be in a home again and everyone in the family was great. Lia and Ot make their own jewelry and have a shop in Kata, just off the beach. They have the most adorable children (the youngest is three and I almost stole him) and I spent a lot of my time playing with them. So the highlights were the beach (of course), not sleeping in a hostel, and spending time with kids who I didn’t have to teach English. Taking the time off was one of my better decisions.

Now that I’m back at school, with no more vacations to look forward to, I’m especially glad I took those days off. Because beyond having a fantastic time and really enjoying the awesomeness that is Phuket, I really needed a rest. Not from teaching - although it was nice to get a break from my (mostly) well-meaning but exhausting students – but from constantly wondering “What the hell is going on?” and then getting frustrated when no one can explain or, worse, tries to explain and gives me wrong information. Because I’m quickly learning that a lot of the time the Thai teachers don’t know what’s going on either. The difference is that they don’t expect to.

So my next goal for cultural assimilation isn’t to learn how things work (that’s pretty much my default setting, not a goal with an achievable end) but to accept that my school is never going to run things in a way that makes sense to me - a Western way. And taking that vacation was a big step, because I still have all the same frustrations and questions this week that I did last week, but now I’ve had some time away from it.

Sure, I still got frustrated this week when on my way to an M6 class that I haven’t seen in a month (thanks to the luck of Thai scheduling) the students told me that the last two periods of the day had been cancelled so the school could practice for Sports Day (three days of cheering, drumming, and dancing for no identifiable reason). No, I don’t really understand why the school decided it was absolutely vital to run a check on the electricity for two hours in the middle of the day today rather than after school, leaving me in a fanless, air-conditionless room with the door shut because I’m giving listening tests and the students have to be able to hear me. I’m still frustrated and confused, but I’m no longer surprised and that actually helps a lot more than I would have thought.

So now as I write this, dripping with sweat after teaching in my airless hotbox of a classroom, rubbing bloodshot eyes and coughing and wheezing like an asthmatic because they’re burning the rice fields outside the school (for boring farming reasons that I’m not interested in) and smoke is blowing into the office, I know that probably any moment one of the students (or maybe even a teacher) will stare at me, shake their head, and say “Teacher, you do not look good”, even though it is totally their country’s fault. And because I’ll see it coming, I probably won’t even be upset, which will put me one baby step closer to understanding the Thai way of life. No one knows how to roll with it better than the Thais.

Down South, Take Two

Things are starting to get back to normal at school. After an even quieter Friday (Why didn't they close school, why?) most of the students were back on Monday and the noise level has risen back to the usual level, with the wonderful addition of hundreds of kids coughing constantly. They've also turned off the a/c, I think to keep from using recycled air? I doubt it's keeping anyone healthier and now everyone is hot, sweaty, and sick instead of just sick. So really, there's only one thing I can do. That's right, less than a week after returning from the south of Thailand, I'm headed back down late tonight. This time to Phuket.

It's for my own health. I'm being responsible.

Okay, so this has been planned for a few weeks. It might seem like I'm abandoning my classes and... I am. But originally, that wasn't how it was meant to work out. This will be a confusing story, but imagine being there while it unfolded. I live in a constant state of confusion here.

Weeks ago, Jenny, Brittany, and Katie P. were told that there school was having midterms during this entire week. They weren't required to give midterms, so they could have the whole week off. I had a feeling it wouldn't be the same for me, but it was worth checking out. By that point I'd figured out that I could have the week off and I wouldn't know until Monday morning. So it was time to be proactive. I asked my coordinator when we'd be having midterms and it turned out to be the same week, all week, but I'd be required to give midterms. Then, completely unprompted by me, my coordinator said that I could give my midterms whenever I wanted. If I gave them the week before or after, then I wouldn't need to come to school because there wouldn't be classes. I was excited, but skeptical. It seemed a little too good to be true. So I decided to wait a few days until I could confirm (as much as I can confirm anything here) that midterms would, in fact, be that week.

And, of course, things changed. Again, and again. First, midterms would only last a few days instead of the whole week. Then, we were giving midterms in class instead of setting aside time for them. Because I only teach each class once a week, midterms would (again) take the whole week. Finally, I found out that midterms weren't mandatory. If I wanted to I could give them in class, but only if I felt like it.

Meanwhile, the others were told that classes weren't canceled for that week and everything was scheduled as normal. But they had already made plans that couldn't be changed, only shortened to a few days rather than the whole week. And throughout all this, I kept telling my coordinator "I need to know for sure, I have to book my ticket soon." But I couldn't find out for sure, but she kept saying it wasn't a problem either way. So,I went ahead and booked my ticket, before I found out there wouldn't be midterms at all. And, honestly, by that point I didn't care even a little bit.

So now I'm headed to Phuket with Jenny, who actually knows someone there who's letting us stay. No cheap hostel rooms for this trip and I might even get some homecooked meals. Free food and a place to stay in Phuket, of all places? My life is pretty rough.

My Next Job Is Professional Beach Bum

Krabi, I miss you already. You were so beautiful (as in, probably the most beautiful beaches anywhere in the world) and, for the most part, did a thorough job of refreshing me from the particular weariness that comes from teaching children who mostly do not want to be taught. Physically, you could have been a bit kinder to us.

We left Friday and after traveling on a van, bus (for a 10 hour overnight, it wasn’t that bad), truck, and long-tail boat, we made it to Railay. Railay isn’t an island, but it’s still only accessible by boat and it’s teeny tiny. And also absolutely gorgeous. After the long trip to get there, we were all in a rush to get a room, change, and run for the beach. And I almost made it, too.

We had changed and were on our way to grab lunch before hitting the beach, when I started feeling a little weird. But I’d woken up with a cold on Friday (which I probably caught from Jenny, who’d been sick all week) and figured it was acting up again. But by the time we got a table, I couldn’t stand up, or really move at all and I started reconsidering the cold theory.

And then I realized I hadn’t had anything to drink in 16 hours. And looking back on it, I can’t figure out why. Maybe it was my cold, or I was trying to keep from using the bathroom on the bus, who knows. But for the first time since coming to Thailand, I wasn’t thirsty and I also wasn’t paying attention. Sitting in an air conditioned bus, you don’t really notice but once you’re on the water, in the heat, you notice really fast.

Unfortunately, by that point I was so dehydrated I felt too full to drink anything. So Jenny helped me back to the room, where I spent the next six hours sleeping and drinking water. By dinner time, I was mostly recovered, if sad to have missed my first beach day.

I was only the first to be stuck down that weekend. Or second, if you count Jenny’s continuing cold. Katie Poor and Brittany fell victim to a stomach bug and we decided that there wouldn’t be a time during the trip that all of us would be healthy at the same time. And, so sadly, we did not get to go rock climbing, which was the thing we really wanted to do, since Railay is famous for climbing.

But despite our bodies attempts to keep us down this week, we still had an amazing time. We braved a more treacherous than it seemed climb to a lagoon (the last leg turned out to be too treacherous and we didn’t actually make it all the way, but the climb made us feel accomplished and muddy), logged some quality beach time, went kayaking, met really cool people, and spent a perfect day snorkeling.

We returned yesterday bruised and battered from snorkeling and climbing (my leg is still stained with mud) and slightly weak from our various illnesses. But we are also sporting excellent tans, we have beautiful pictures, and I managed not to spend my entire month’s salary, even with island prices. I woke up this morning almost ready to go back to teaching.

It seemed like school wasn’t quite ready either, because it was unusually quiet when I got there this morning. With 3000 students, school is never quiet and in the morning, when I’m not yet completely awake and they all want to say hello to me individually, it seems especially loud. But this morning there were only a few hundred students milling around and they all seemed subdued. Suspicious.

When I got to my office, I asked one of the teachers where everyone was. “Home,” she said. I waited. And waited. “Why are they home?” I finally asked. And it turns out the answer was swine flu. As in, a couple students have it. And everyone else seems to have the regular flu or is too afraid to come to school, because more than half the students were missing. Maybe two-thirds. I asked if school would be canceled (some other schools have been for the same reason) and was told there was a meeting in the afternoon to discuss it. So I went through my day, teaching classes that were missing half the students and trying to convince people that no, I really didn’t need a mask. This afternoon, I had a conversation with the same teacher from before and it left me with a feeling I’ve become very familiar with. The feeling that yes, that conversation did happen and no, it doesn’t make sense, and yet I’m the only one that thinks so.

Me: So what happened in the meeting?
Teacher: Oh, there was no meeting. The hospital said not to gather in groups, so the director canceled the meeting.
Me: Oh. So I guess there’s no school tomorrow.
Teacher: Yes, we still have school.
Me: But you said we’re not supposed to gather in groups.
Teacher: Yes, that’s why they canceled the meeting.
Me: But we still have school.
Teacher: Yes.
Me: …Okay, moving on. My M6’s didn’t show up for class today. Are they all sick?
Teacher: Oh, no. M6 does not have class today.
Me: Of course they don’t. Will they have class tomorrow?
Teacher: Maybe. If you go to class and they do not come, then they don’t have class.
Me: I’m going to stop asking questions now.

So now I have no idea if I’ll have school tomorrow. The teachers say yes, but they are often wrong. I suppose I’ll find out if my van doesn’t show up tomorrow.

To Whomever Finds This Note

Work is too hard. Have run away to Krabi (described by some as the "paradise province" of Thailand). May never return.

But if I do, it'll be on Wednesday.

Oh My God, What Is That Thing?

I have a warning to pass along and you should take heed of it. Thailand is an amazing country with warm and friendly people, beautiful scenery and delicious food. But it’s not without its dangers and I knew that before I started. I expected questionable hygiene, new illnesses, maybe even a political protest or two. So far I’ve been right about the hygiene, I’ve only experienced the same sicknesses I get at home, and I don’t live in a political hotbed so things have been peaceful. I also knew there would be some surprises, things I couldn’t predict until they actually happened. And that’s certainly been true.

But I never expected what happened this weekend.

Let me set the scene. Our destination this weekend was Kanchanaburi, which I loved while I was there (briefly) during orientation. I rode elephants and swam in the River Kwai and had a great time, but there’s so much more to do there and I knew this would become a favorite place for me. So we left very early Saturday and made our way to the Wild West of Thailand.

Leg room was minimal (and I’m not exactly a giant) and we had to dodge the ever-persistent taxi drivers who were trying to convince us that we didn’t really want buses to Kanchanaburi, we wanted taxis to Ayutthaya or Bangkok.

(“You want taxi? Where you go?”
“To Kanchanaburi, on a bus.”
“Taxi to Ayutthaya, only 1000 baht.”
“That’s great, but I’m not going to Ayutthaya. Also, I want a bus. Notice how we are having this conversation at a bus station.”)

But still, the trip went quickly. And then there were waterfalls. Kanchanaburi has a lot and we only saw a small selection, but they were so pretty. I also love that it’s the low season now and there aren’t tourists everywhere. Out last stop was Sai Yok National Park (a kind park ranger gave us a lift in the back of his truck and saved us a 30 minute walk) and it was practically deserted. Which meant that the floating bungalows on the Kwai River, in view of another waterfall, were almost all empty and waiting to be rented.

That’s right, I slept on an adorable floating bungalow on the river. With a waterfall as my backyard. We took advantage by jumping off our floating porches and swimming to said waterfall. Which we then climbed and jumped off until the only things holding us up were the lifejackets the bungalow owner thoughtfully provided. So we made our way back and, after we showered off the river, had dinner boated over to us. But you have to have somewhere to eat dinner, so they also towed over a barge, complete with roof and tables. I was pretty impressed. No one’s ever given me a dining room before.

And then it happened.

I was lazing around in my bungalow, enjoying my post-dinner-on-a-barge afterglow and staring at the ceiling. And after a bit, something caught my attention. I stared for a minute, but my brain didn’t want to process what I was seeing, so when Jenny came into the room, I pointed it out. And I didn’t like what she had to say.

“It’s a spider.”

But surely that can’t be, I thought. Because that thing on the ceiling is bigger than my hand. And it’s brown and white. Spiders aren’t white. And so when Katie Poor came in, we consulted her. To my relief, she reassured us that it wasn’t a spider, it was a sprinkler. And it did look like a sprinkler. Unfortunately, Jenny (who is too smart for her own good) pointed out that the bungalows didn’t have flush toilets. Why would they have sprinklers? And then, as if to answer, the sprinkler scurried across the ceiling. The three of us, being mature adults who have braved traveling across the world to live in a developing country, ran out of the room screaming. We screamed so loud that we woke up a Thai family a few bungalows down and brought the owner over at a jog. When he saw the mutant spider, he chuckled and told us not to worry, it was only a little spider and it didn’t bite. Which implied that there were bigger spiders around that did bite. The only part of the exchange that was reassuring was that he killed it for us.

You might think that I felt ridiculous making such a scene over a spider. But you would be wrong. Because I can deal with small, normal spiders. But I cannot deal with Godzilla-spiders that are brown and white because the white is actually the egg sack they’re carrying around. You may take a moment to freak out.

So here is my warning: Kanchanaburi is breeding a master race of super-bugs. They’re in the development phase of the plan now, but if we prepare we might stand a chance when they’re ready to destroy the world. And sadly, we have to defend against more than one species. As a found out a little later, it’s not just the spiders that are big in Kanchanaburi.

Brittany, Katie P. and I were playing cards (Jenny, probably sensing that something upsetting was about to happen) had gone to the other room to sleep. Suddenly Katie P., who had been lying down next to the open window, shot to her knees, put her hand behind her back and screamed. At this point, I was confused, but then Brittany screamed and I thought, maybe the spider came back from the dead. So just to cover all my bases, I screamed too. This is the point where I felt a little ridiculous, because the owner heard us again and came back. Brittany and Katie P. said “Mai pen rai, it’s a cricket, we can handle it.” And I looked at them. A cricket? Really? But then I saw the cricket.

Hold out your index finger. If you have small hands, hold out your middle finger. Triple the width, add wings and six legs and you have the size of the cricket. We spent the next twenty minutes trying to herd the monster cricket in the direction of the door, using whatever resources were at our disposal; including but not limited to: throwing shoes, throwing water bottles, swinging a lifejacket from the strap in an attempt to nudge it out, and blowing it with a fan.

Katie P: I’ve got it! We’ll use the fan and the air will bother it.” (Unplugs fan and maneuvers it into the prime cricket blowing angle. Nothing happens. Katie moves it closer. Cricket is unflappable.)
Me: It’s not moving.
Katie P: I bet it’s loving this. It’s probably thinking “It was hot in here before and I was going to leave, but now that I have this refreshing breeze I think I’ll stay a while”.
Me: We could try the lifejacket again.

Finally we (meaning Katie P.) sucked it up, grabbed the shoe it was sitting on, tossed it out, and slammed the door. Eventually the cricket hopped away and we knew victory.

So parts of the weekend were frightening and stressful, but I would absolutely do it again because the next morning I woke up and outside my door was a waterfall. A much nicer way to start the day than roosters or construction.

The Sights, Sounds, Smells, and Joys of Thailand

This last weekend was our second planned trip to Ayutthaya and this time we actually followed through. It's one of the closest places to us (only about 45 minutes by car, sometimes 2 hours by bus) so we decided to make it a day trip. If we didn't do everything we wanted to, we could always come back. And maybe we will. It's a really pretty place that oddly, has a bit of beach-town feel to it. And the ruins are definitely cooler than I thought they'd be. But really, once you see a few crumbled monuments and temples, you've seen them all. The best and cheapest way to see the ruins (Ayutthaya is filled with them) is by bike. So we rented bikes for the day (for the staggering price of 40 baht) and pedaled our way to some history. Now, some of you may be recalling that I have something of an irrational dislike, possibly even a fear, of bikes. And this is true. But a lot of things that normally bother me haven't been an issue while I've been here. Bikes, bugs, a lack of food and health codes. I wouldn't survive here if those things continued to freak me out. I'm probably saving it all up for when I get home and I'll have a massive meltdown the first time I see a bee.

Now that I've been in Thailand for a month and a half, and teaching for almost that long, I feel more settled. And I've been paying more attention to the little things that make this whole experience so interesting. They are the difference between visiting a country and living it.

The sounds:

There is at least one rooster that lives somewhere close to my building. Roosters are loud. They are loud at sunrise and sunset. And these particular roosters are especially loud because some of the locals have cockfights at 6:30 in the morning, we discovered not too long ago. I have an excellent view from my balcony, when I want to watch. Which is never because...cockfights.

Shots/fireworks/cannonfire: It's a series of booming sounds that could be either one of these. We think it's coming from the nearby temple. I've heard two explanations. One, that this is part of the Thai funeral service. They happen a little too regularly for this to be true and it also came from a farang, so I'm thinking it's unlikely. The second option, which came from a local, is that it's the call for the monks at the temple to come to the meal. This seems like an unnecessarily extreme version of a dinner bell, but I suppose it's possible. Although, for all I know, there's a turf war going on between the street vendors.

The smells: The most pungent smell I've been exposed to lately has been the particularly identifiable smell of durian. Durian is a fruit and it's banned from most airports, subways, and enclosed public places. I've even seen a "no durian" sign in a restaurant. Why someone would feel the need to bring their own fruit to a restaurant, I don't know, but I can understand not wanting it anywhere near your business, food, or person. Durian is rank. A teacher at school brought it in yesterday as a gift for me and I couldn't fake liking it even for a second. I'm impressed that I swallowed the teeny tiny bite that I took. It tastes like it smells. Now that I've had it, I can think back to the fruit stalls I've passed and realize that was the weird smell I could never identify. I am now on the look out for a "no durian" sign that I can hang around my neck.

The joys: This particular joy has become a weekly event. Every Tuesday, I teach one of my lower level matayum 1 classes (12 year olds), which I've taken to calling my lady boy class, because it has at least 4 lady boys. For those of you who haven't been introduced to this aspect of gender and sexuality in Thai culture, "lady boy" is the general term for a flamboyant gay man. It may even be for all gay men, but don't quote me on it. Some lady boys go the whole nine yards and get the sex change, but most are simply flamboyant. And Thai people are completely cool with this. It's a non-issue, which is refreshing and also unexpected (at least for me) in a culture that can be so conservative. But Thais are also the friendliest and most open people I've ever met, so maybe it's not so surprising.

There is at least one lady boy in most of my classes and I love them. So many of my students are shy and getting them to speak is a painful experience for everyone. And, while this isn't true across the board, a lot of the students who aren't shy have an attitude problem. But my lady boys are neither. They have personality, they participate, they have fun in class without causing problems. We enjoy each other. But the lady boys in my Tuesday class are my favorite. First, because they are adorable. They are tiny Thai boys with sweet smiles and I just want to hug them. But the biggest reason I love them is that every Tuesday they come to my office to fetch me for class. They always come early and say "Teacher, go room now." And I say, "Five minutes" because usually I'm in the middle of an important game of solitaire. They get excited and wait outside and when I leave the office they take everything I'm holding (even if, like today, it's only two pieces of paper) and carry it to class for me. I have trouble getting some of my classes to roll in less than 15 mintues late, and these boys come early to get me. And when I draw pictures on the board and the whole class laughs? They clap and say "Teacher, beautiful." They're great for my self-esteem. I should start taking them with me to all my classes.

That was...random

Before I get started on the interesting little cultural things I experience daily, I want to mention two school happenings that might give you a little peak into how things work in Thai schools. First being that I was introduced to the entire student body last week. "Why Katie," you might say, "haven't you been teaching there for a month?" And you would be correct. So why did they wait this long to introduce me? Because they are Thai. And this is Thailand. Much of the time, things don't follow any schedule or occur in any order that we would consider logical. Things just happen, or don't happen, at any time. And even if the whole introduction was a little pointless (I'm the only white person at school. I'm pretty sure they all know who I am), it was still a nice gesture.

The second event was yesterday and it was my first school celebration. My most lasting impression was that it was a nice-smelling one. It was Wai Kru, which more or less translates into "Respect Teacher Day" ("Kru" is teacher, but in university and secondary school it's "Ajarn". I'm Ajarn Katie." Different schools celebrate it in slightly different ways (some cancel class, mine only canceled a few classes). But I think they all have the same unbelievably complex flower arrangements which the students make and then present to us on their knees. And then they walk away on their knees. It was all very submissive and awkward, but only for me, because of course this is normal for the Thai teachers. After all, they were once knee-walkers themselves. If the person is very well-respected (monk, grandmother, a member of a pop group) they could very well still be knee-walkers. The flowers really were amazing, though. It's hard to describe them, but I took a lot of picture. I may even post them fairly soon.

And now the random section of this post. Because random is an accurate way to describe my time here so far. Here is a sampling of the things you rarely go a day without experiencing in Thailand:

Stray dogs - Individually, in pairs, many times in packs. They are everywhere. You know how we have rabbits (or some of us do)? Thailand has dogs. At night it can be a little unsettling, especially in Bangkok where they usually roam in packs and watch you as you pass. But I got used to it, faster than I thought I would since I'm not at my most comfortable with animals. I've seen dogs chase other dogs off their doggie turf, dogs nursing injuries, dogs following people for scraps. I never thought about it before, but probably 95% of dogs at home are neutered and I've never appreciated Bob Barker more than I do now.

Motorbikes - I don't want to call them motorcycles, because they're not like the big ones you usually see at home. These are less powerful and smaller. And yet, they still fit families of four or five of them. I see this every single day and I still haven't managed to get a picture of it. And I have to, because this sight needs to be shared. A common formation is an adult driving, with a child behind, and another adult at the back holding a toddler. Sometimes one of them is also holding a chicken. And I always wonder, how? How do they fit on there? And doesn't it ever occur to them that it might be unsafe? The adults wear helmets. I think the fact that they don't make toddler motorbike helmets should be a hint. Seriously, a picture of this is one of my main goals.

Delicious smelling meat of questionable origin - 90% of the time it's either chicken or pork (beef being a rare sighting in Thailand) but you can rarely tell which it is. Even when you're eating it. Actually, especially when you're eating it. I've eaten tasty chicken dishes and had someone say "that pork was good today, wasn't it?"

Storm clouds - The rainy season is starting up and it's pretty impossible to ignore. It will be beautiful all morning and then by early afternoon the sky will start turning black. But that doesn't always mean it will rain. Usually it doesn't, and when it does, the wind will blow so hard it sounds like someone screaming (once, I actually thought one of the students was screaming and wondered why no one was bothered by it) and the rain will pound down. For ten minutes. A little bit later, it'll be blue skies again.

Skinny cows - I don't see this everyday, but I usually pass them on the way to school. Because Thai people don't eat much beef, they raise cows solely for milk. As a result, they aren't as invested in keeping their cows fat. And I get that. But you can count their ribs. I'd have thought they'd keep them a little more well fed. Not so surprisingly, the beef they do have here tastes like it came from a skinny cow.

K-Pop - I've heard rumors that Thailand has music of its own, both traditional and contemporary. But I'm not sure I've actually experienced it myself, since apparently Korean pop music (K-pop) is the hot thing to listen to here. I listen to it everyday in the van. I hear students singing it. K-pop is a mix of English and Korean, so when I say certain words, the students recognize them from songs and start to sing. For some of them, this is their only knowledge of English. As for me, I using it to become the cool teacher. I mentioned my growing love of SuperJunior (a boy band with thirteen members) to my fourteen year-olds and after the squealing died down, I think they liked me a lot more. So I need to put some serious work into learning the life stories of K-pop singers.

Things in Thailand that are a little more specific to me:

"Farang" - It means Westerner, basically. Usually a white Westerner. It's not derogatory. It's kind of a name you would give to a stupid, but well-meaning, pet. As in "What's that farang doing now? I love her, but she doesn't know anything." The students at school say it all the time, even though you think they'd be used to me by now. The women in my office say it a lot, too. In front of me. Which...I know I can be pretty clueless here (and, maybe, also at home) and I don't speak Thai, but I'm not actually stupid. But they don't mean anything by it, so I just ignore it. We all know that I know that they talk about me when I'm right there. "Farang" also means guava. So when I eat guava (not often, since I violently dislike it) everyone gets a big kick out of it. I am a big source of entertainment.

Construction - I've mentioned the construction before and there's not much more to say, other than we've heard it will eventually be a pool. And also that Americans would have finished it a lot faster, without working on Saturdays and Sundays. I wonder if there's even a Thai word for "efficiency". I do actually wonder about it. It's pretty much the antithesis to a major part of Thai culture.

Food on my desk or pushed into my hands - Thais are big on hospitality and taking care of people, at times to an uncomfortable degree. So the teachers in the language department are always putting food on my desk, usually fruit. The fruit is almost always amazing (guava aside) but I can only eat so much. And they also bring me other things, like hot soymilk with the soybeans still floating in it, odd sandwiches (cheese, mayonnaise, cucumber, and not completely ripe tomatoes), and Thai desserts. Unfortunately, almost every single dessert I've tried is gross. A lot of them involve shaved ice with toppings that include kidney beans, sweet potato chunks, and a variety of gelatinous cubes. Gelatinous is actually the best word to describe Thai desserts, which says a lot on its own. Mango and sticky rice is still a win, though.

If I could, I would eat cheese for every meal

After the fantastic but not overly restful weekend in Bangkok, we decided to spend last weekend enjoying the wonders that Suphanburi has to offer. Namely, the pool, Thai massages (I paid 6 dollars to get beat up for an hour and a half, but in the good way), pizza, and marathon movie watching. I felt so refreshed that the week zoomed by, and before I knew it the next weekend trip was in the works.

The original plan was to head to Ayutthaya, the old capital of Thailand. It has a lot of history and very ancient ruins, and it's only about an hour away. A perfect day trip, with time left over to do nothing on Sunday. We all know how highly I value doing nothing. But on Friday I got a call from Brittany, who asked if I minded a change in plans. What followed was a very confusing conversation, partly because I couldn't hear over the noisy students heading home, but mostly because I had been fixing my hair using the reflection from a van window, only to realize that behind that reflection there was a small Thai student staring back on me. Flustered, I only really managed to make out "beach" and "Bangkok". I like both of those things, so I said yes to whatever was being planned.

When I got home, I found out that the full plan was to go to Hua Hin for the weekend, a beach town south-east of Bangkok. So we all packed quickly and headed for Bangkok, where we stayed the night, and then left very very early on Saturday. I have to admit, I wasn't completely on board with waking up at 5 in the morning and being on a bus before 7, but I'm so glad we did. It took a little over 3 hours to get there by bus, but when we got there we still had a whole day. We also got dropped off right in front of a Starbucks, an auspicious start.

We then found out guesthouse, which may have been my favorite part of the whole weekend. It used to be an old teakwood fisherman's house, and the whole place was beautiful. The common areas were all open-air on the ground floor and the rooms were raised up over them. There were antique sinks and carvings and now I think I want to have a guesthouse just like this one. I'll put it next to my used bookstore.

Our first stop was lunch, but after that we immediately went for the beach. Because it's the beginning of the low season and the weather is getting a little unreliable (it still managed to stay beach-suitable while we were there), the beach wasn't very crowded. And only about half of the people there were tourists. The other half tried to sell us everything from fruit and bathing suits, to horseback rides and men's dress shirts. And the whiter you are, the more you get hounded.

So, in a effort to stave off the hounds, we employed the brilliant strategy of falling asleep on the beach, recovering from the early start. And, of course, we all got sunburned. Because if I still haven't achieved a sunburnless summer at home, I doubt I'll start in Thailand.

We spent the rest of the weekend eating bread and cheese. There were some vegetables and dessert thrown in there, but bread and cheese was the focus. I haven't had cheese in over a month. Even the Mexican food barely had any. I didn't realize how big a part of my diet cheese is until I suddenly stopped eating it. Thailand needs to jump on the cheese train.

A good part of Sunday was spent traveling, but the guesthouse and beach and cheese made it completely worthwhile. I had sufficient time to chill out before school today. And then during school today, I spent a lot of time explaining sunburns, both as a general concept and mine in particular. Thai people love white skin. The whiter you are, the more beautiful. You could look like a toad, but as long as your skin is white, they think you're a model. As a result, they spend as much money and effort lightening their skin as Americans do tanning it. Umbrellas block a lot of the sun, but there's still that pesky Asian skin tone to contend with. To solve that problem, they have whitening cream. Some of it is makeup. Some of it is actually bleaching cream. It sounds terrible to me, but I suppose it's not any worse than voluntarily sitting under lights than can give you cancer.

So they find it baffling that I might lay out on the beach, where my skin is in danger of growing darker. Well, some people get darker. I get frecklier. And, on days like Saturday, I get redder. When I explained that I didn't wear enough sunscreen because I fell asleep and got burned, they only seemed more confused. I'm sure Thai people get sunburns, but they're probably not as visible as mine. A student offered to let me use whitening cream that she had conveniently in her bag. I thought about explaining that bleach was probably the last thing I needed right then, but decided it would be best not to get into it. I just have to accept that Thais and Westerners do very different, but equally damaging, things to their skin in the name of beauty.

Although, in my defense, my sunburn didn't occur in the name of beauty, but in the name of sleep deprivation.

Bangkok, you're too expensive. Except not really.

I really need to start posting a little more often, because I've starting to have trouble keeping track of what I did when. I haven't been here all that long, but there's so much going on that it always feels like I've done a lot, even when it's in the middle of the week and all I've accomplished is that I didn't make the students dumber.

But the weekend before last I decided to do a little more than that and went to Bangkok. It's only about an hour and a half away (traffic permitting) by air-conditioned van and it costs 100 baht. So going to Bangkok is pretty easy. I left right after school on Friday, with the other four English teachers on my floor, and since two of them have been to Bangkok a lot, we had a much better chance of not getting lost. Sadly, the odds were still high that we'd get hit by a motorbike. It didn't happen, but I'm thinking it's pretty inevitable.

We stayed at a hostel just off Khao San Road, which is a popular backpacking hot spot. So popular that it's practically it's own little village and the variety of people was a refreshing change. Once we had washed away the van smell and changed, we went out for dinner. And here's another big change from my usual routine, we ate at a restaurant. I know, I was shocked too. It was more expensive than I'm used to, but expensive in Thailand is relative and I really only spent about 10 bucks. And, oh, was it worth it. They served us pineapple fried rice in an actual pineapple and the red curry we ate is a contender for the "Best Food I've Had in Thailand" prize.

After dinner, we walked around a lot. Suphanburi is busy during the day, but at night things quiet down really fast. Not so in Bangkok. It might actually be more crowded. There are definitely just as many people as there are in the day, and with the sun down and the temperature a little more comfortable I decided that Bangkok at night is one of my favorite places to be.

Saturday was our day to be comforted by Western culture. Thailand is great and the food is even better, but sometimes I just want to eat a burger and do it in a place where I don't have to say hello every five seconds to giggly passers-by. So our first stop was, of course, Starbucks. Now, I'm not the Starbucks fan that I once was (coffee = burnt, prices = a weeks worth of meals in Thailand) but I appreciate the convenience of having them everywhere. Including, it turns out, in Thailand. I've also been struggling with a caffeine situation while I've been here. Before I left, I'd been told and read myself that Thai people love coffee. So I thought, great, that won't be something I need to give up. Especially great since I put coffee in the big part of the food pyramid.

What I wasn't told, is that Thai people love instant coffee. Particularly Nescafe. I don't know if any of you have experience the particular flavor of Nescafe, but if you haven't, I envy you. Instant is not coffee. It's dirt with caffeine and I can't make myself drink it. Surprisingly, it hasn't been that hard, although there have been days when I look at the individually wrapped packets of poison and think, "maybe". But that doesn't mean that I didn't just about cry from happiness when I had my first sip. It was an emotional experience.

After we all finished our cups of heaven (and composed ourselves so we wouldn't scare the locals) it was off to Chatuchak Weekend Market. It's an open-air market, the largest in Thailand and might actually be the largest in the world, although I'm not committing to that last part. We only went to a tiny fraction of the market, but the variety of things to buy in that fraction were overwhelming. Furniture, clothes, silks and fabrics, jewelery, books, carvings, junky tourist knick-knacks, it went on. And I may have gone a little crazy. Once you start buying, it's hard to stop. Things are so cheap here, although you should never commit to the first price. I am by no means an expert bargainer, but I managed to get a few things knocked down. I probably saved a grand total of 4 dollars, but it's the principle. And the vendors seemed to get a kick out of the fact that I was even trying.

After lunch we visited a friend of Brittany's, one of the other teachers, who lives nearby, and from there we slowly made our way back to the hostel to rest. Shopping is exhausting and we had to prepare ourselves for the most exciting part of the weekend; the part that, for a couple of us, was the main reason for going to Bangkok. I am speaking, naturally, about Mexican food.

Thailand, even Suphanburi, offers a lot more Western food than I was expecting. I can easily by peanut butter, junk food, cheese if I don't care about the quality. If I feel going a bit far from my apartment, I can get a burger (I haven't yet, I'm saving that for desperate times). But Mexican food? No way. The only possible place for that is Bangkok and you have to really look for it.

Luckily we had old pros to show us the way. It was the most expensive dinner by far that I've had in Thailand but I couldn't bring myself to care at all. Over a week later and I'm still sad that I couldn't eat all my food. I'd go into further detail but I'd rather not think about it. My cravings will only go unfulfilled.

On Sunday, we did what you should do on Sundays, which is not much at all. We checked out of the hostel and headed for a second-hand bookstore a fellow farang had mentioned to us. And when we went inside, I was reminded that one of my dreams is to own a bookstore and hey, I want it to look exactly like this one. We spent a good couple of hours there, soaked in that feeling you can only get by being surrounded on all sides by books, and finally made ourselves leave. But not without buying a couple, which we can sell back to them for half-price when we're finished. And considering the price of these books, and the library fines I inevitably rack up at home, this bookstore has pretty much become my local library.

Then it was time to go home, but we made a quick stop at Siam Paragon, a mega-mall that contains the most beautiful food court I've ever seen. A food court that contains sandwiches, which are almost as hard to find as Mexican food. Bellies full with familiar food, we made our way back to the van station and then drove home.

And we almost made it, too. About five minutes away, the van made an odd sound, shook, and then pulled over. When we looked behind us, we could see what looked like a lot of water, or what was probably a key car fluid. It must have been important, because we had to walk the rest of the way. Luckily, it wasn't far, but it reminded me (as I often am) of the difference in Thai behavior. If that had happened at home, people would have been yelling, demanding reimbursement or a taxi to the station, even though it was only ten minute walk (it took us twenty to get back to our building). But in Thailand, people just got out, got their stuff and went on their way. Mai pen rai.

And that was my weekend in Bangkok. At the time, I thought I had spent a lot of money, but once I did the math I realized that I only spent just over 100 dollars. That's including all my meals (two of which were "expensive", 6 shirts, one pair of pants, a necklace, a bag, both van trips, transportation within Bangkok, and two nights at the hostel. Money well spent, I think.

I've posted some picture, although not all because my wireless situation isn't very dependable. I'll e-mail people the link, but I'm also posting it here.

Could it be that I might be getting the hang of this?

Alrighty, last I left it, I was still recovering from the world's worst first day and looking forward to the weekend. And what a weekend it was. I've never been a big blowing off steam kind of person. For me, the best way to heal from exhausting experiences isn't to go out and go crazy. It's to do as little as possible, preferably pool-side.

And go to the pool I did. There's a pretty nice hotel about two blocks from my apartment building and for 50 baht (a bit under 2 dollars) you can use their pool for as long as you want. Jenny - my fellow teacher who was placed at a different school and who had an equally traumatizing experience - and I had some serious lesson planning to do for the upcoming week. We decided the best way to do that was to take advantage of the good weather and two full days of nothing else to do (for the first time since landing in Bangkok) to figure out a game plan.

It turns out that Jenny and I, brilliant alone, are geniuses together. Not only did we make some general teaching breakthroughs (ex: "Maybe, if we use the books as a guideline, we might actually know what to teach!) but we also planned our lessons for our 1's and 2's. Jenny, having a normal teaching schedule, only teaches 1's and 2's, so she was done. I still had three more lessons to plan, but I was riding high from my success and I still had all of Sunday.

As luck, fate, and the grace of angels and the gods of teachers would have it, I also have fantastic resources, also known as the other English teachers who live on my floor. Katie (because there can never be one) and Brittany teach at Jenny's school and were there last semester. Katie teaches 5 and 6 and Brittany has 3 and 4. My reaction after learning this was, "Hey, someone who's done this and survived! Maybe they can teach me that trick." And, not only are they teaching me, they also provide me with tips, lesson plans, and reassurance that it does get better and also no, it's not just me, Thai students do some strange things.

All of which helps immensely. What also helps is that, apparently, once I got past the initial (and massive) lesson planning block, it's been getting easier. I use some past lesson plans, adapt a few, and plan the rest myself (or in the case of my 1's and 2's, with Jenny). It's a lot more manageable than it seemed at first. And, with my first full week finished, I can say that it was a success. At first, I considered the electricity that kept going out and classes that rarely started on time because the students are always late as snares, but I quickly learned that these things will be part of my routine. The only truly odd thing that happened at school last week was my meeting with the principal. My coordinator grabbed me as I was on my way to make copies and told me it was time to meet him. I was pretty taken aback, but since I was being dragged into his office (with a brief stop to take off my shoes) there wasn't really anything I could say about it. The whole meeting took five minutes and all five of those minutes were weird. The principal doesn't speak English and I haven't spontaneously learned Thai in the last three weeks, so he talked to my coordinator. And looked at my coordinator. And in no way acknowledged my presence, other than to point at me. I didn't contribute anything, just sat and enjoyed the air-conditioning. I found out later that the only thing he had to say to me was that I couldn't use my backpack anymore (my choice of bag since I've been carting a ton of books home to catch up on the years of training I didn't receive) because it made me look like a student. As a point of fact, the students don't have backpacks. They have leather satchels. And also, they are Thai. Neither of these things apply to me. So now I have a new bag.

And now, moving on to my new home. The first way I can think of to describe it, at least aesthetically, is as a slightly rundown beach town, with a lot more motorbikes and some farm animals thrown in. As I write, there is a rooster crowing somewhere outside my window. Not having spent much time in the vicinity of farm fowl, I'd always thought they cock-a-doodled at dawn. Myth disproved.

Suphanburi is fairly quiet, especially when compared to Bangkok, although I live in one of the noisier parts. I live right around the corner from a secondary school (where the other teachers are) and in the morning and afternoon the whole block is packed with students, street vendors, and traffic. Plus, the construction, which follows no schedule I've been able to pin down.

There isn't a whole lot to the town, as far as I can tell anyway, which is fine. I'm dealing with so many new things and Thailand, even small, quiet Suphanburi, is so different, that I don't need a lot of amazing sights and outings. Going to a food stall and figuring out how to order dinner is adventure enough for now. When I need more, I can take a quick trip to Bangkok, which I did this past weekend and will go into later.

Street vendors are a major part of the Thailand experience. Thailand, especially outside of Bangkok doesn't often do restaurants in the way we think of it. They have them, of course, but most people go to food stalls along the street, or the slightly bigger outdoor vendors, which sometimes have a place inside where you can sit as well. You usually eat there, at the tables they have next to the stall or on the curb if there isn't anywhere to sit. Thais don't do a lot of eating and running. The food is always cheap (on average, I spend around 2 dollars a day for breakfast, lunch, and dinner) and always delicious. I'm learning the art of adding the various spices (sugar, chili powder, fish oil, and vinegar) and it is an art. They don't all taste good on everything and the balance has to be just right.

And, speaking of food, I think I'll go get some dinner. I can now say five dished without stuttering and my tolerance and surprisingly, my appreciation, for spicy food gets higher every day. Later, more on my trip to Bangkok and the strange things that are rapidly becoming part of my normal day.

Now class, pay attention.

I suppose I can officially call myself a teacher now. Not in the way that I have an appropriate degree, experience, or any idea what I'm doing, but it's my actual job description. That counts for something, right? I've been at school for almost a week, so I'll break it into days.

Wed: It was my first full day in Suphanburi and luckily I didn't have to teach. the plan was to sleep in, but the construction got me up early and there was no point trying to sleep through a giant banging machine (real name unkown) that makes my bed jump - just a little, but still, it jumps. Wattana, my coordinator and thai mother/keeper of the crazy Westerner, picked me up before noon to take me to school and show me around.

The school is called Kanchanapisek. There's actually at least four more syllables, but that's what everyone calls it and I can barely pronounce that. It's huge and beautiful and surrounded by rice fields. I litterally can see people pick rice on my way home. It's about a ten minute drive from my apartment, so the school van (Thailand mostly uses vans instead of buses) picks me up and takes me home. I could tell right away that finding my way around would be more than a bit difficult, but (thankfully) I found out I teach 90% of my classes in the same room and - this is key - that roomis air conditioned. They put me with a lot of advanced classes and - their their words, not mine - the smart kids get air conditioning as a reward for being better learners.

Thurs: My first day of teaching. I got up with plenty of time (a trend I'm sure will not last) and thought about panicking, but decided it was too early. I got dressed instead, in heels I already knew I would regret. But almost all of the Thai teachers wear them and as the Thais do, so shall I. After I left the building, I realized I wasn't really clear on where I'm getting picked up or what my van looks like. I live right next to another school so while I wandered back and forth, hoping someone would shout "Teacher, get in" I had hundreds of uniformed students staring and giggling at me. I have it on good authority that the staring and giggling will not go away and that I will not get used ot it. Finally, I saw a promising vehicle and said the school's name to the driver. He nodded, looked confused, but let me in. I successfully made it to school, only to find out that I took the wrong van and my van's driver called Wattana, who in turn got everyone worried about me. Not the greatest start. Then, I found out that I had five classes that day, and the first three were right away, back-to-back. Nothing like getting throgn into the deep end.

My classes that day probably could have been worse, but if they had I think I would have quit right then and jumped on a plane home. Five minutes into the first class, I realized I should have just said "screw the heels, the Thais are crazy anyway". My lesson plan was less than stellar. It's hard to prepare when you have no idea who you're teaching until the day before. And that still doesn't help determine skill level. Luckily, the students had no idea. They consider teachers in general to be pretty infallible, and Westerners? Every word we grace them with is pure gold.

The first two classes were not in my main room, so they had a computer and projector system instead of a white board. Fancy, but I didn't know how to use it, although it didn't matter because they weren't working anyway. So the classrooms had to get switched. And on top of everything, changing climates and pretty much my entire lifestyle finally caught up with me and I had a massive cold. But I did learn something useful: it's not the sun you need to watch out for, but the humidity. By my third class (in a row) I was swaying on my feet and figured out that although I'd been sipping water all day, I need to be gulping it. Constantly pouring sweat tends to dehydrate one.

By the end of the day, I was more exhausted than I've been in a long time (26 hour plane ride included), I was forcing myself not to limp, and the heat, humidity, and illness had not me the prettiest person at school. I still had to figure out a way to improve the lesson plans for tomorrow, but I couldn't get my brain to work. It was time to go home and die - or, at the very least, shower.

Fri: I can't fully explain how much better this day was. I woke up illness free, learned from my unfortunate shoe decision and wore flats, and found the right van without any trouble. Hooray! I only had three classes that day and, even though I didn't do any work the night before on the lesson, somehow I managed to wing it and things were better. I had a long talk with Wattana about all the levels I'm teaching, which is the primary source of my stress. Just about every teacher in school, in most Thai schools, teaches one or two grades. Kanchanapisek goes from 7th to 12th, although they call it 1 to 6. I teach all of 1 (which is 11 classes), three classes in 2, one 3, one 4, and four in 6. And they all have 50 or more students in each class. It's a massive amount of prep and while they might think I'm some sort of language god because I'm a native English speaker, I'm not even close to being a qualified teacher. I asked Wattana if I could replace my 3 and 4 classes with ones from the other levels, which would make my load much more manageable. We're giving it a week and I don't know how likely a schedule change is, but at least I told her right away that I wasn't sure I could handle it.

This is already a monster post, so I'll cut off here. Don't worry, things go way up from this point. Later, my weekend, my apartment building mates and fellow English teachers, and life so far in Suphanburi.

Nit noi: Little bit. As in, "a little bit spicy". I don't use it much, because they don't listen anyway.

Consider me orientated

I don't know if it was orientation or just life here in general, but time has been going pretty slowly so far. I've been here just over a week, but it feels like at least double that time. I spent a lot of that time in "class"; teacher training, basic Thai language lessons (I'm pretty much fluent already), and learning tips for how not to die in Thailand. So far everyone is still alive, so I'd say the lessons were a success.

During the nights we tried to figure out the Skytrain and the subway, which were shockingly clean. We very clearly weren't sure where we were going, so a couple people volunteered directions. We were pretty sure the directions were wrong, but who wants to be the foreigner who tells the local they don't know what they're talking about? No one wants to be that person. Although, I kind of wish I were, because it turns out they were absolutely wrong and it added almost an hour to our travel time. But no use getting angry or frustrated. That gets you nowhere fast in Thailand. Mai pen rai.

It's pretty hard to miss the start of the rainy season here. Especially when it wakes up in the middle of the night with the loudest thunder I have ever heard in my life. I was so disoriented, for a second I thought it was an explosion and I thought "great, after telling everyone over and over that the violence in Thailand isn't that bad and it's safer than home, I'm going to die in my hotel". I don't know how people deal with the rain here. After twenty minutes, all the streets were flooded. Also, the hotel lobby. I'm going to need some rain boots.

Sunday, we left for Kanchanaburi, which is the province west of Bangkok that borders Burma/Myanmar. K-buri (I have a feeling I'll be abbreviating a lot these next few months) was beyond excellent. It's basically jungle everywhere and then some towns here and there. Monday was the best day of orientation. In one day we went rode elephants (our elephant trainer found out we were American and started singing Jingle Bells), went bamboo rafting down the River Kwae (although it was hot so we jumped off and swam next to the raft for most if it), visited an orphanage in the jungle that's set up as a village with teachers and staff workers acting as parents, and walked over the Death Bridge over the River Kwae. Dinner was on a barge, which was relaxing until they started blasting the extremely random music: Thai karaoke versions of Hotel California and Lady in Red; Dido, the original version. This is pretty representative of "American" music in Thailand.

Now I'm in Suphanburi (Soo-PAHN bur-ee), listening the construction work going on outside of my apartment building. It's loud and shakes the room, but if Dickinson did nothing else, it prepared me for this situation. I have plenty of experience living with construction. Noise aside, my place is nice. It' s more dorm style than an apartment, but it's not like I would use a kitchen if I had it. I also am the only one on the floor with hot water because the girl last semester splurged to have it installed. My I should let people use my shower and charge for it.

Now that I'm settled, I'll start posting pictures. But first, unpacking.

mai pen rai: No problem - Thais use a lot. You don't let anyone know if you're bothered or burdened
mahout: elephant trainer - The ones where we went lived together in a village. The children gave us flowers and held our hands

Sawatdee ka!

So, I've arrived in Bangkok and - except for having to flat out run from my first flight to the second when I heard them call my name for final boarding - everything went suspiciously smoothly. The whole trip went by faster than I thought it would, I met up with someone else in the program so I had a cab buddy, and we made it the hotel without any problems. I was waiting for something to go wrong.

We found another program member at the hotel and we only managed a couple hours of sleep before we got up for the free breakfast at the hotel (because, really, sleep or free food?). And then it was time to look around the neighborhood. Bangkok is a little overwhelming, smell-wise. There's a lot smog and pollution, but underneath that are a lot of yummy food smells from the many (many) vendors along the sidewalks. And still things went smoothly. The heat wasn't too bad, I successfully said hello and thank you in Thai (the woman at the register was probably humoring me but I like to pretend), and although I almost got run over by an old woman an a motorbike, I didn't.

And then it happened. The plan was to not sleep and tough it out until the night. But since we were tired, we decided to relax for a bit - read, watch T.V. Nine hours later, we realized there's no beating jet lag. Now it's around midnight, we're wide awake and about to try out vendor food for the first time. And then after, hopefully trying catch some sleep.

Thai phrases:
Sawatdee ka (khrap, for male speakers)/ Hello
Khawp khun ka/khrap / Thank you

Price of a 1.5 liter bottle of water: 12 baht/33 cents